Therapy for Women: What Do I Need Less Of?

I want to have 15 minutes of quiet

I need to have 15 minutes of quiet.

One word change – from want to need.  But it makes all the difference.  Want represents something that would be nice.  Need is seen more as a gotta have.  Wants are easy to dismiss or feel selfish about.  Needs are, well, something you need! 

Here’s an exercise to try:

1. Set a timer for 5 minutes. We’re not talking a lot of time, you can do this.
2. Ask yourself the question – “What do I need less of?”
3. For the next 5 minutes write down everything that pops in your head. Don’t censor it. Don’t question it. Don’t worry if it sounds crazy or you think it’s impossible. Just write.

Now what? 

Look through that list for themes or patterns.  Don’t focus on the individual items right now, just look for the broad patterns.  Drill down and find those commonalities.

Once you’ve finished that, go back and re-read all of your individual items.  Place a star next to the 3 that you feel the strongest about.  Don’t judge them or try to figure out how to make them go away right now.  Just be honest with yourself.

Now, write out those items that are starred and the themes/patterns you noticed on a separate sheet of paper.  Hang them where you’ll see them regularly.  

Don’t jump into doing anything with them right now other than commit to reading them often

You’ll find much more creative ways of addressing these if you just give yourself permission to look over them rather than react.  

If you’re feeling stuck, we want to invite you to learn more about our Therapy for Women services.  We’re committed to helping women live a life of joy and balance.