Alyssa, how long have you been doing what you do and how did you get to be a Transformational Coach and Counselor for Women?
Let me start with an explanation of why I do the work I do. I’ve been blessed to be married to my husband, Jaime, for over 25 years and we have 2 great adult kids. Becoming a counselor was a pretty easy leap for me because I’d always felt a calling to help people. I received my Masters of Social Work degree in 1997. I then completed 2 years post-graduate training to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Women have always been a part of my practice, as I began my career working with families.
After several years, I began noticing that a lot of the women I worked with didn’t require counseling. Instead, they were looking for direction and skills to help them live a more purposeful life. At this point, I began my training for coaching.
I’d seen this desire in my own life. As my children grew up and needed me less and less I really struggled with “Now what?” My response to this was to do extra stuff around the house, run the errands, cook the meals, take the kids in 50 million directions all week long, and still try to have time for sleep, exercise and be amorous with my husband! All the while, I was still working full-time as a business owner!
I quickly found myself exhausted, irritable, and looking back – I wasn’t very pleasant to live with. I was so wrapped up in trying to be what I thought a “good” wife and mother looked like, I didn’t even see what a mess I was making of everything important to me.
As a relationship expert, you’d think I’d have seen the warning signs – but when it’s your own life you don’t see things as clearly. In the middle of all this craziness, I ended up with a back injury. I couldn’t move much due to excruciating pain – worse than childbirth! I sat around crying for a while, feeling sorry for myself. I knew I needed to take better care of myself and stop worrying about what everybody was thinking in order to be the person I wanted my family to see.
A lot changed as a result of that injury. But the greatest lesson I learned was that I had to let go of the unrealistic expectations I’d put on myself. All they did was cause me to constantly feel guilty for not measuring up.
The burden of those expectations caused me to be a lousy wife and an impatient, grouchy mother. I’m still learning to let go of the belief that I have to do everything and it has to be perfect. That journey allows me to embrace and honor the person God made me to be. That doesn’t look like society’s version of perfect – but that’s ok.
Because of these life experiences, I have dedicated my professional life to helping stressed out, exhausted and over-committed women break free from the exhaustion of living their lives on autopilot, so they can enjoy their lives and their families as well as leave a legacy they can be proud of. Over the past 2 decades, I have authored 4 books, had over 300 of my articles published, spoken to 50+ women’s groups and have worked with thousands of women during my career.
How are you different from other counselors or coaches?
I am extremely unique in that I have been trained as a counselor and transformational coach. Because of my extensive skills in both areas of expertise, I work with you to decide which services are most appropriate for your needs and then our work begins. I am also unique in that I am NOT a generalist – as most counselors and life coaches tend to be. I have spent years fine tuning my skills so that they are extremely effective for my ideal clients, rather than just for anybody.
My ultimate goal for all of my clients is found in Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope, patient in pain and faithful in prayer.” I will celebrate your successes with you, be present with you in your moments of pain and faithfully pray for your situation during our work together.
All of the work I do with you is biblically based and founded on Christian principles. But I promise NOT to shove religion down your throat. We’re all at different places in our walk and being judgmental, doesn’t help anybody. Your faith is seen as a strength, and it will be honored in the work we do.
Who are your clients exactly?
I work with stressed out, exhausted and over-committed women who are tired of living their lives on autopilot. They’re usually bone tired. Their health, children, finances, friendships and marriage are all being impacted by the constant running and pressure they feel to be a “good” wife, mother, friend, co-worker, etc. My clients recognize their current way of living isn’t working for them anymore. They feel lost and fed up.
Most of the women I work with have had some significant event happen that wakes them up to the reality that they’re done living like this. This might include:
- A health scare
- Their marriage feels shaky or even a divorce
- A negative review at work that jeopardizes their income
- Feeling like they’re going to cry “for no reason”
- A comment from their kids that shows them they aren’t meeting their kids’ needs like they thought they were.
They are bright and creative women. They’ve made several attempts, on their own, to make a change but nothing has worked long term. This leads them to berate or doubt themselves even more, causing the spiral of struggle to worsen.
They’ve reached a point where they’re fed up with going it alone and KNOW they need someone to come along beside them and walk them through the changes they’re ready to make. They recognize the value of investing in themselves with their time, energy and resources.
What if I don’t fall into that category of client?
I work with lots of women, whether they are moms, single, divorced, married, working outside the home or choosing to stay at home.
The core struggles of unrealistic expectations and exhaustion from trying to do too much are still present so they are definitely able to benefit from the work we do. As women, our relationships are critical to our happiness. When those aren’t going well, life can feel hard. Our work together allows you to create meaningful relationships with the people you love as well as support you in achieving higher levels of joy and peace because you’ll have more energy and focus.
What type of personality do you work best with and what is expected of me?
My services are created for stressed out, exhausted and over-committed women who are tired of feeling as if they are just going through the motions of life. They want genuine relationships. They want to do their best, not just “get by.” I work best with women who are ready, emotionally and financially, to make changes they’ve been longing for, for many years.
They are committed to doing the work and take personal responsibility for making the changes in their lives.
My services are designed to help you have a definitive path to get you where you want to go. No more guess work. You know what’s expected, you know you’ll be supported and you’ll feel safe to make the changes you’re ready to make. And you’re ready to take a no excuses approach to getting there.
Being a fast paced, high achiever – I work best with other higher achievers who know what they want, but haven’t been able to figure out how to get it. My clients are ready for a step by step plan for moving ahead and they’re ready to move NOW!
What type of person will NOT be a good fit for you and your services?
Please know I am very selective about who I work with.
Your success is my utmost concern. I make sure new clients and I are a good fit for one another. It’s not fair for us to decide to work together if you’re not able to get the most out of it. If I don’t think our working together is going to be the best option for you, I will be honest give you a referral to one of several other professionals I know and trust.
- My services and programs are not for people who just want to use their insurance to see the cheapest provider.
- My services are anything but run of the mill or cookie cutter. They are highly specialized and individualized to meet your unique needs.
- If you’re just looking for any old counselor or coach – I am NOT your woman.
The principles and steps I use with my clients have been created and refined during my 20+ years of service to thousands of clients. I work very hard to provide the highest level of services and experiences for the women I work with. I am here to serve you with everything I can give. I want to help you become the woman you were created to be.
Another type of person I will not work with (without exception) is the person who doesn’t take responsibility for her actions.
You are an adult and I will treat you as such. Your results are YOUR responsibility. I will provide you with everything you need to reach your goals, but you have to do the work. It’s not my job to chase after you to turn in assignments, schedule appointments, and to take advantage of all of information I provide to you. That’s your responsibility. If you’re used to a lot of hand holding and coddling, I respectfully ask that you seek out another professional. We won’t be a fit.
Does this really work?
Yes! The women I work with are healthier because the stress level in their life is dramatically reduced. They have more energy because they’re doing more of what they enjoy rather than activities that drain and lead to exhaustion. Their relationships with loved ones are improved because not every second of their lives is scheduled. They KNOW they are leaving a legacy they can be proud of because they are modeling a life they want their children to live when they’re adults. But don’t take my word for it – check out my client success stories.
What specific results can I expect?
You can expect to:
- Experience freedom from negative thoughts – enough beating yourself up!
- Let go of worries about what other think – feel confident that you know what’s right for you and your family.
- Live a more simplified life! We say we want this all the time –now’s your chance to really learn what it means and how to get it!
- Be more intentional about the decisions you make – no more saying “yes” to things you know you don’t want to do.
- Have meaningful and fulfilling relationships – No more wishing – make this a reality for you.
- Learn to manage everyday stress– This means you’ve got more patience with your loved ones, you’re less likely to bite someone’s head off and you smile more!
- Have a sense of calm in your life – No more “unexplained” meltdowns.
- Give yourself permission to make yourself a priority – You’ll honor your needs and recognize your value. This allows you to give yourself more fully to the people you love rather than feeling resentful over the demands people place on you.
- Find more peace – no more feeling scattered. You’ll have a systematic approach for staying focused on what matters and for tackling one thing at a time.
- Confidence that you’re modeling how to vibrantly live to your children and all the other important people in your life.
- Stronger, healthier relationships with others – You’ll know how to spend your time, who to invest it in, and who to protect yourself from.
- Feel confident in your ability to make important decisions – Know you’re on the right path rather than constantly doubting yourself.
- Not sweat the small stuff – know what’s truly important and make choices that support that.
- Relax and enjoy life more– No more stressing out!
- Develop consistent time to work on yourself without guilt – Keeping your spirit filled is what allows you to give freely to others.
- Learn skills to think things through rather than react and get upset.
- Set appropriate boundaries to take better care of yourself and ultimately your family.
- Take your spiritual relationship to a new level. No more using it as a last resort, see it as a strength and make it real for you.
- Understand that you are making an impact not only on your loved ones, but your community and world at large.
OK, I’m interested in learning more. What are next steps?
Just click the button below to get scheduled for a Complimentary Phone Consultation. We can get to know one another and see if working together will be a good fit. I can’t wait to chat with you and learn more.